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It’s long since she’s started wearing her top again.
Her bare chest is the ghost of a memory by mid-December, but I can sometimes still resurrect it when I’m alone in a hot shower.
In November, Kat switches to riding the trails or along the property line.
She says the salted roads aren’t good for Light’s feet.
I’m sure she’s right, but I don’t like losing sight of her anymore.
Not since she started playing with Joshua.
I think about how I found them together often.
It both disgusts and excites me to think of her with a man — with another man.
A man who isn’t me.
I can see them together during those moments in the shower.
Katherine’s back arched in a perfect bridge from his pelvis to his chin.
The way her breasts shook under his hands.
I didn’t fire Joshua.
I didn’t say anything.
Kat knows better than to tell me about him, but sometimes I wish that she would.
I’d like him to eat at my table, thinking I know nothing about their exploits.
He’d tell me how he doesn’t want anything improper — I’d make him tell me that.
He’d tell me he aims to marry her.
But I’d know all along where they’ve been.
I know what they look like together.
I could lie awake at night knowing he’s snuck in through her bedroom window, listening carefully for the gentle squeaking of her boxspring.
It’s beautiful because my daughter is beautiful.
Joshua will be back in the spring.
But since harvest ended, Katherine has been different.
Well, the same as she used to be.
She goes out riding once a day, but she always comes right home.
Stays for dinner every night.
Never goes out.
I could almost believe she hasn’t seen him since that day.
I could almost believe she was wholly mine.
Since that day, I’ve stopped reminding myself that she’s my daughter.
I am in love with her physically and emotionally.
At night, I build a fire against the cold.
I like the work of maintaining a wood stove for heat over the simplicity of a thermostat.
Most winters, I take down a tree.
I split the logs myself and build a pile against the back of the house.
I like it more now that Kat is home again.
She comes out to stand by the fire until the whole house is warm. Blackberry news not updating.

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